All this week has been a struggle. We live in the same town with the 18 year old who victimized his classmates in the most horrific way. We have two boys who attend the same High School Anthony Stancl attended before being expelled, as well as the classmates he victimized. They probably don't even realize that they could have good friends that were victimized, but are too ashamed to entrust this information with their classmates. My heart is bleeding this week first and foremost for the victims, but also for the victims families as well as Mr. Stancl's family. I can not imagine what his parents must be going through. I can not imagine what his sister, who still attends the same high school as the victims, must be going through. I have fallen asleep pretty much every night this week praying for these people and this community.
I pray that this experience is a serious WAKE UP CALL to all parents. I really think that so many parents assume that if there children are doing well in school, it means their child is doing everything else right too. This young man, who in my opinion has managed to victimize this entire school at varying levels, was an honor's student, a member of DUO which stands for Do Unto Others (it's a community service program), DECA, office worker and a member of S.A.D.D. I have been blessed with children that have kept us on our toes. Our boys are self-proclaimed, under-achievers and proud of it. I randomly check their text messaging, IM, Facebook, etc. The computer they use is right out in the open. If dad hears any inappropriate songs on their cell phones-they lose them. We have tried to raise them up with Christ in their heart. I am no means a perfect parent. I am extremely flawed. I pray that God would take my flaws and help me to learn from them to become a better mother. I pray that God brings peace and courage to the families involved in this horrible case. I pray that my children, as well as the other students act out of compassion and kindness towards any of the victims, whether they are ever known or not. I pray that the County is able to reach a plea bargain with Mr. Stancl in order to avoid a painful trial for the community, especially they victims. I pray that the victims, with time find peace and are able to move past this painful experience.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Try
I haven't posted in a very long time. The holiday season was rough. Between family, work and festivities.
I am trying to be more consistent in my faith walk. I am trying to be more consistent with my exercise routine. I am working on getting caught up at work. I am praying that I become a more patient mother and wife.
I struggle with eating when I am stressed. I just down a little box of chocolate covered popcorn. So much for my efforts on the elliptical!! I struggle with balance and discipline.
Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way , just as we are-yet was without sin." (NIV)
I thank the Lord for understanding my weaknesses and loving me despite my sinfulness. I pray that he works in my heart and gets met a more stable place of surrender and disciple.
I am trying to be more consistent in my faith walk. I am trying to be more consistent with my exercise routine. I am working on getting caught up at work. I am praying that I become a more patient mother and wife.
I struggle with eating when I am stressed. I just down a little box of chocolate covered popcorn. So much for my efforts on the elliptical!! I struggle with balance and discipline.
Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way , just as we are-yet was without sin." (NIV)
I thank the Lord for understanding my weaknesses and loving me despite my sinfulness. I pray that he works in my heart and gets met a more stable place of surrender and disciple.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Trust and Forgiveness
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart" Proverbs 3:5 (NIV)
This is my 6 year old's memory verse for the week. We have been saying it repeatedly every day this week. It is such a simple verse, but very powerful. Today I read a blog and devotion by Lysa Terkeurst http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2008/09/my-letter-to-david.html . She clearly trusts in the Lord with all of her heart. Her story and words moved me to tears.
Sometimes, we make decisions in our life that we regret. The regret could enter our hearts later that day, month, year or several years later. I thank God that I can trust Him to love me no matter what I say or do. I pray that he fills me up with that same love and compassion. That I would always be non-judgemental, always forgiving of those who I feel hurt by and learn to forgive myself for my mistakes. I pray that I would always remember to trust Jesus, keep Him in my heart at all times and live as he calls me to live, even if that requires trials and suffering. Who am I, to think I should live a life free of pain when he suffered a greater pain than any of us will ever endure.
I thank Jesus for using Lysa and her incredible life filled with pain, trials, love and joy as an example that if we trust in Him, he will bring resurrection to our spirit and heart for him.
Praise God....
This is my 6 year old's memory verse for the week. We have been saying it repeatedly every day this week. It is such a simple verse, but very powerful. Today I read a blog and devotion by Lysa Terkeurst http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2008/09/my-letter-to-david.html . She clearly trusts in the Lord with all of her heart. Her story and words moved me to tears.
Sometimes, we make decisions in our life that we regret. The regret could enter our hearts later that day, month, year or several years later. I thank God that I can trust Him to love me no matter what I say or do. I pray that he fills me up with that same love and compassion. That I would always be non-judgemental, always forgiving of those who I feel hurt by and learn to forgive myself for my mistakes. I pray that I would always remember to trust Jesus, keep Him in my heart at all times and live as he calls me to live, even if that requires trials and suffering. Who am I, to think I should live a life free of pain when he suffered a greater pain than any of us will ever endure.
I thank Jesus for using Lysa and her incredible life filled with pain, trials, love and joy as an example that if we trust in Him, he will bring resurrection to our spirit and heart for him.
Praise God....
Friday, September 5, 2008
Puppy Chow
I love puppy chow. You know the kind you make with the cereal, peanut butter and powdered sugar? It is so tasty. I also love my puppy. Her name is KoKo. She is a 1 yr old, boxer. She is very smart, very cute and sweet. Sometimes.... This spring, we invested in a dog fence. The kind that gives your pooch a little "electrifying" reminder that they are getting too close to leaving their yard. It was one of the best investments we have made. Within 48 hours that dog was completely trained. To stay in the yard, at least.
Like I said, Koko is very smart. But, she can be a bit naughty too. She digs in the garbage. She jumps on people. She has probably consumed about 2 dozen Barbie limbs. Now, you know they have the electric dog fences. But, did you know they have collars that you can activate with a remote? Of course, my husband thought "the dog fence worked so well. We should try the remote collar for her other naughty behaviors and she will be the perfect dog." So, he has a friend at work who was kind enough to borrow us his dog's remote and collar. Nick was so excited to use it (as he is much fonder of said dog than I). The first day she had it on, she jumped on a friend of ours who stopped for a visit. So, she got shocked. She went near the garbage, she got shocked.
After that that was it. She would not do anything naughty, as long as she had that big ole collar around her neck. My husband even tried setting the poor pooch up. He would strategically put goodies smack dab on top of the garbage waiting for her to take the bait so he could remind her it was naughty. She would just sit next to the garbage and whine!!! So, one day he had the collar on her and I said, "We should get you a "mock collar" so you stop being so naughty." Nick and I laughed. Later that day, I jumped in the shower and Nick left to run an errand. While I was in the shower and Nick was away. Koko jumped onto the counter, pulled down the remote (borrowed from friend), ripped the cover off and tore it to shreds and then preceded to chew the antenna to pieces. GASP!!!! Oh my dear Lord!! I really have to admit. I laughed right away. I was upset at the fact that we may have to spend $400 clams to replace the friends remote. But, I guess that is just way the puppy chow crumbles??
ps. We only had to replace the antenna and the cover and it cost $30.00. And if we still had the remote. I would've posted a picture.
Like I said, Koko is very smart. But, she can be a bit naughty too. She digs in the garbage. She jumps on people. She has probably consumed about 2 dozen Barbie limbs. Now, you know they have the electric dog fences. But, did you know they have collars that you can activate with a remote? Of course, my husband thought "the dog fence worked so well. We should try the remote collar for her other naughty behaviors and she will be the perfect dog." So, he has a friend at work who was kind enough to borrow us his dog's remote and collar. Nick was so excited to use it (as he is much fonder of said dog than I). The first day she had it on, she jumped on a friend of ours who stopped for a visit. So, she got shocked. She went near the garbage, she got shocked.
After that that was it. She would not do anything naughty, as long as she had that big ole collar around her neck. My husband even tried setting the poor pooch up. He would strategically put goodies smack dab on top of the garbage waiting for her to take the bait so he could remind her it was naughty. She would just sit next to the garbage and whine!!! So, one day he had the collar on her and I said, "We should get you a "mock collar" so you stop being so naughty." Nick and I laughed. Later that day, I jumped in the shower and Nick left to run an errand. While I was in the shower and Nick was away. Koko jumped onto the counter, pulled down the remote (borrowed from friend), ripped the cover off and tore it to shreds and then preceded to chew the antenna to pieces. GASP!!!! Oh my dear Lord!! I really have to admit. I laughed right away. I was upset at the fact that we may have to spend $400 clams to replace the friends remote. But, I guess that is just way the puppy chow crumbles??
ps. We only had to replace the antenna and the cover and it cost $30.00. And if we still had the remote. I would've posted a picture.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
"I do", with God's help
Today I was inspired by another blog I read by my favorite, Mrs. TerKeurst. She blogged about marriage and our expectation.
Well, my husband and I experienced a marriage of major highs and lows. Honestly speaking, we did not do things the traditional way. I had JJ when I was 19 and Nicky when I was 21 and married my "baby's daddy" when I was 24. When we married, it was after several years of hurt and bad choices. We always loved each other, but, I think there was a time when we married simply because it seemed like the "better option" due to the circumstances. Now, from the time Nick and I met we always went to church together and we both believed in Jesus. Despite some of our choices, we both had a strong work ethic and were very determined to give the boys a nice life. I put myself through school and had been blessed with a great job that provided me with a company car and I got to work from home. Nick went to school and became a firefighter. After we married and purchased our first home. Now, I grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents and the entire time my husband and I dated he NEVER drank. Then at our wedding reception someone bought my husband a shot of tequilla. Well, let's just say the first two years of our marriage my husband was a family man by day and party guy by night. It was so hurtful to me and I felt so betrayed. This created major trust issues in our relationship. At that point the only thing keeping me in my marriage was my children. The next year, we had fallen behind in some bills and I had started paying for groceries with our credit card and even had to make a few house payments with the credit card. I did not feel confortable to go to my husband to discuss the financial trouble we were in.
Then, my husband started attending "Firefighters for Christ" breakfasts and made some new friends. His friends challenged him to join a men's Bible Study called "Top Gun". It was a very intense two year study. He joined, but not because he wanted to do it. He did not like being told he didn't have what it took to make it through the stude. This study rocked his world and mine. We started going to marriage counseling through a christian counselor. We both started developing an actual relationship with Christ vs. just a faith in Christ. We learned that we needed to both rely on God and as we became closer to God we would become closer to each other. Through the counseling we were able to forgive each other and more importantly, ourselves for the sins we committed. We fell in love all over again. It was a much deeper, selfless love for one another.
We renewed our wedding vows in October, 2004. We had a little ceremony in our newly remodeled living room. We did all of the work ourselves. Well, I did mostly designing and he did mostly working. But, it was beautiful and we did it together as a team. We had a spiritual mentor from Nick's Top Gun group lead the "service". It was clear that the Holy Spirit was present as we read our vows written for each other and as Vaughn gave us his message. We then enjoyed a dinner at the same restaurant we had our original wedding reception. We found a song by Bebo Norman called "Long Way Home". If you haven't heard this song, it is absolutely beautiful and is our theme song. I had Nick's wedding band enscribed with "I was made to be with you alone" which is line from the song.
Now, we are fast forwarding 4 years later. We still argue and drive each other crazy from time to time, but we both know that we will be there for each other as long as the Lord leaves us both on this earth. I can not imagine my life without him and he without me. Despite the fact that I am 20 pounds heavier, have a few more wrinkles he manages to tell me how beautiful I am all the time. We try to do little things for each other from time to time just to show our appreciation for one another.
Marriage is not always easy and there are times when it seems it would be easier to walk away and start over. But, Nick and I have chosen to put our trust in God and lean on him to help us be more understanding with each other.
Lord, I pray that you help me to remember that my husband is your child that you love. I pray that I am trusting in him with decisions as he is called to lead our family. I pray that I am deserving of his trust and that I overcome my fears of trust.
Well, my husband and I experienced a marriage of major highs and lows. Honestly speaking, we did not do things the traditional way. I had JJ when I was 19 and Nicky when I was 21 and married my "baby's daddy" when I was 24. When we married, it was after several years of hurt and bad choices. We always loved each other, but, I think there was a time when we married simply because it seemed like the "better option" due to the circumstances. Now, from the time Nick and I met we always went to church together and we both believed in Jesus. Despite some of our choices, we both had a strong work ethic and were very determined to give the boys a nice life. I put myself through school and had been blessed with a great job that provided me with a company car and I got to work from home. Nick went to school and became a firefighter. After we married and purchased our first home. Now, I grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents and the entire time my husband and I dated he NEVER drank. Then at our wedding reception someone bought my husband a shot of tequilla. Well, let's just say the first two years of our marriage my husband was a family man by day and party guy by night. It was so hurtful to me and I felt so betrayed. This created major trust issues in our relationship. At that point the only thing keeping me in my marriage was my children. The next year, we had fallen behind in some bills and I had started paying for groceries with our credit card and even had to make a few house payments with the credit card. I did not feel confortable to go to my husband to discuss the financial trouble we were in.
Then, my husband started attending "Firefighters for Christ" breakfasts and made some new friends. His friends challenged him to join a men's Bible Study called "Top Gun". It was a very intense two year study. He joined, but not because he wanted to do it. He did not like being told he didn't have what it took to make it through the stude. This study rocked his world and mine. We started going to marriage counseling through a christian counselor. We both started developing an actual relationship with Christ vs. just a faith in Christ. We learned that we needed to both rely on God and as we became closer to God we would become closer to each other. Through the counseling we were able to forgive each other and more importantly, ourselves for the sins we committed. We fell in love all over again. It was a much deeper, selfless love for one another.
We renewed our wedding vows in October, 2004. We had a little ceremony in our newly remodeled living room. We did all of the work ourselves. Well, I did mostly designing and he did mostly working. But, it was beautiful and we did it together as a team. We had a spiritual mentor from Nick's Top Gun group lead the "service". It was clear that the Holy Spirit was present as we read our vows written for each other and as Vaughn gave us his message. We then enjoyed a dinner at the same restaurant we had our original wedding reception. We found a song by Bebo Norman called "Long Way Home". If you haven't heard this song, it is absolutely beautiful and is our theme song. I had Nick's wedding band enscribed with "I was made to be with you alone" which is line from the song.
Now, we are fast forwarding 4 years later. We still argue and drive each other crazy from time to time, but we both know that we will be there for each other as long as the Lord leaves us both on this earth. I can not imagine my life without him and he without me. Despite the fact that I am 20 pounds heavier, have a few more wrinkles he manages to tell me how beautiful I am all the time. We try to do little things for each other from time to time just to show our appreciation for one another.
Marriage is not always easy and there are times when it seems it would be easier to walk away and start over. But, Nick and I have chosen to put our trust in God and lean on him to help us be more understanding with each other.
Lord, I pray that you help me to remember that my husband is your child that you love. I pray that I am trusting in him with decisions as he is called to lead our family. I pray that I am deserving of his trust and that I overcome my fears of trust.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Embracing Organization
Well, it has been over a month since my last post. So much has gone on. The day I wrote my last post my daughter became very ill for a full week. So much for my week of plans while my boys were vacationing away from home....
I decided in May that I needed an organizer to keep track of everything, my schedule, my hubby's schedule, my kid's schedules, birthdays, etc. I finally broke down and bought myself an organizer about two weeks ago and spent an entire evening listing all of the events that were already scheduled for the up and coming school year. I was so excited. Then, I went to my boy's "Meet the Coaches" meeting for Football on Sunday. Of course, this is really a Booster club even in order to get your participation in different fundraisers. But, guess what? I FORGOT MY ORGANIZER!! Why? How? I do not know. But, I did. I had to laugh at myself after the fact. An organizer is a great tool, as long as you remember to bring it with you. I feel empowered when I have it. It has a journal area for daily diet and excercise. It has a place for birthdays and anniversaries, etc. Now I just need some sort of sensor to go off when I leave the house so I do not forget the organizer.
That is all I have for now. I am hoping that next week when all three of my children have re-entered the reality of education, I will have more time to write more, better blogs.
I decided in May that I needed an organizer to keep track of everything, my schedule, my hubby's schedule, my kid's schedules, birthdays, etc. I finally broke down and bought myself an organizer about two weeks ago and spent an entire evening listing all of the events that were already scheduled for the up and coming school year. I was so excited. Then, I went to my boy's "Meet the Coaches" meeting for Football on Sunday. Of course, this is really a Booster club even in order to get your participation in different fundraisers. But, guess what? I FORGOT MY ORGANIZER!! Why? How? I do not know. But, I did. I had to laugh at myself after the fact. An organizer is a great tool, as long as you remember to bring it with you. I feel empowered when I have it. It has a journal area for daily diet and excercise. It has a place for birthdays and anniversaries, etc. Now I just need some sort of sensor to go off when I leave the house so I do not forget the organizer.
That is all I have for now. I am hoping that next week when all three of my children have re-entered the reality of education, I will have more time to write more, better blogs.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Seasons of Life
Today is a truly, beautiful summer day. It is in the mid 70's, not too humid and the sun is shining. I actually was able to turn off the air and open the windows. My boys are off on a wonderful summer vacation with their uncle and his family in Williamsburg, Virginia. My house is clean and the laundry is done. JJ turns 16 this Friday and Nicky turns 14 in 6 weeks. I can hardly believe it. I was 19 when I had JJ and 21 when I had Nicky, so I always thought of the days that they would be grown and I would still be young enough to do some of the things I missed out on as a young woman. My husband and I really never got to do the whole "dating thing". I thought it would be fun to do that too, even though we would already be together for two decades. The other day after the boys left, Nick was working and I was making supper, I looked over at my "baby" Isabella who is going to start 1st grade this year. She was standing at the computer playing a game. She looked so mature to me already. She has thinned out over the past couple of months, seems to have gotten taller and has lost a few more teeth. The reality is that I only have these precious gifts from God for what seems to be a shorter "blip" than I could ever have imagined.
On the 4th of July we were at a party with some friends. These are friends I have known for about 3-4 years now. This friend and I were talking with a new, younger person we just met at the party. Jen started talking about being 25 and how much fun it was traveling and this and that, such little responsibility. Now, she knew I was 35, as is she and she knows my eldest is turning 16. But, it hadn't clicked. I pointed out that when I was 25 I had a 6 and 4 year old in toe, so my life was a bit different at 25. I didn't say it with any disappointment or regret. I was simply stating the facts.
God blessed me with my beautiful boys at a very early age. He then blessed me with my precious little girl when I was bit older and wiser. By the way, God does have a great sense of humor. He said "You wanted your girl" with a little chuckle "you got her!" and he smiled. At least, that is the way I imagine it. She is sweet and all, but, the sheer drama. It is more drama than this mama could ever imagine. She wouldn't go to sleep last night, so at one point she said "Everybody is treating me like their maid!" what??????????? See, I wasn't being "nice" because I wouldn't let her sleep in my bed or stay up. It was 10:45pm.
The point is, I am currently in a beautiful season of my life. It is a season of motherhood and it is a season that on some levels, seems to be changing. My boys are getting older. They seem to never be home anymore between sports, friends and working. My prayer is that they will continue to grow into motivated, hard working, God loving men of character. But, this will require them leaving my nest and finding their own nest. Motherhood is not always fun or easy. There are times I prayed to just get me through to JJ's high school graduation, then life will get easier. Who knows, maybe it will? Maybe there will be something harder that comes along?Although I am looking forward to finding out who and what my children will make of themselves someday. I am going to cherish this Season of my life, like a am cherishing a beautiful summer day.
Today I found Proverbs 24:3-4 "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures."
With all God's Love,
Julie
On the 4th of July we were at a party with some friends. These are friends I have known for about 3-4 years now. This friend and I were talking with a new, younger person we just met at the party. Jen started talking about being 25 and how much fun it was traveling and this and that, such little responsibility. Now, she knew I was 35, as is she and she knows my eldest is turning 16. But, it hadn't clicked. I pointed out that when I was 25 I had a 6 and 4 year old in toe, so my life was a bit different at 25. I didn't say it with any disappointment or regret. I was simply stating the facts.
God blessed me with my beautiful boys at a very early age. He then blessed me with my precious little girl when I was bit older and wiser. By the way, God does have a great sense of humor. He said "You wanted your girl" with a little chuckle "you got her!" and he smiled. At least, that is the way I imagine it. She is sweet and all, but, the sheer drama. It is more drama than this mama could ever imagine. She wouldn't go to sleep last night, so at one point she said "Everybody is treating me like their maid!" what??????????? See, I wasn't being "nice" because I wouldn't let her sleep in my bed or stay up. It was 10:45pm.
The point is, I am currently in a beautiful season of my life. It is a season of motherhood and it is a season that on some levels, seems to be changing. My boys are getting older. They seem to never be home anymore between sports, friends and working. My prayer is that they will continue to grow into motivated, hard working, God loving men of character. But, this will require them leaving my nest and finding their own nest. Motherhood is not always fun or easy. There are times I prayed to just get me through to JJ's high school graduation, then life will get easier. Who knows, maybe it will? Maybe there will be something harder that comes along?Although I am looking forward to finding out who and what my children will make of themselves someday. I am going to cherish this Season of my life, like a am cherishing a beautiful summer day.
Today I found Proverbs 24:3-4 "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures."
With all God's Love,
Julie
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